Can we just chill?
By Donna Albertone, M.P.A.
Consultant to the VIRTUS® Programs
“Can We Just Chill?” That was the headline of a column that caught my attention in our local Sunday newspaper. The phrase, “just chill,” is muttered so often by our two high school age “children” (and yes, I remind them often that they are children), that I thought the content of the story would provide me with payback ammunition.
The cute headline, however, was a pun for the topic of global warming. The author challenged all those who take their moral obligation to warn others of the planet warming to (gasp) “Zip it!” It seems the more that a proverbial wake-up call is forced, the more folks will roll over and grab an extra five or ten minutes to power nap, in effect, ignoring the alarm.
“It’s a pickle of a paradox: As our knowledge and expertise increase, our ability to respond tends to taper off.” ¹ The more our knowledge thickens, so do our walls—and this particular body of research seems to add credence to a phrase used first in 1989, “there is a curse to knowledge,” once you become an expert you assume others are too.
Is this happening to us, as well—the VIRTUS®-trained faithful? Have we talked about preventing child sexual abuse so much that we assume others are well-informed about the problem? Have we done such a good of a job raising awareness that we have folks saying, “Zip it, already?” Maybe we’ve been so effective describing the enormity of the problem and of revealing the threat that people are now making one of the following assumptions: a) Whew! I really don’t have to be so careful; b) The crisis is over (or worse, thinking that the problem of predators is solved); c) I don’t make the problem any worse, so I, alone, sure can’t make it better.
The answer is d) all of the above.
Lord Byron once said, “Time! The corrector when our judgments err.” But perhaps the passing of time isn’t what is making us potentially less zealous about preventing child sexual abuse, maybe it’s the plethora of information we’ve been given.
The goal of intense child sexual abuse prevention education has always been to inspire action, to stress that concerned adults must communicate concerns when they witness behavior that causes the “gut-o-meter” to go off. Are we to believe our words and requirements have been counterproductive?
The truth is our actions do still matter. We can’t ignore what we might know or see because we believe our actions don’t matter or that we are over-saturated, desensitized, or thick-walled to the issue of child sexual abuse.
The truth is we matter, our children matter, but it all breaks downs when we think nothing matters. Only we, with God’s help, can control our destiny—and the way to start changing the world and ensuring the safety of our children, is by changing ourselves. Do the small things that make a difference—talk, listen, and observe your children. Monitor all activities, and remind yourself of the warning signs.
¹ Rae-Dupree, Janet. (2007). Innovative minds don’t think alike. The New York Times. Retrieved January 03, 2008, from http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/30/buisness/30know.html.
This article is not part of your continuing training. To access your required bulletins you must log in using the form in the upper left-hand corner of the screen. Then go to the TRAINING tab.
