Father’s Day: Celebrating the Best
By Paul J. Ashton, Psy.D., D.Min.
Consultant to the VIRTUS® Programs
4 years: My Daddy can do anything! 
7 years: My Dad knows a lot… A whole lot.
8 years: My father does not know quite everything.
12 years: Oh well, naturally Father does not know that either.
14 years: Oh, Father? He is hopelessly old-fashioned.
21 years: Oh, that man—he is out of date!
25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.
30 years: I must find out what Dad thinks about it.
35 years: Before we decide, we will get Dad's idea first.
50 years: What would Dad have thought about that?
60 years: My Dad knew literally everything!
65 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.
—Unknown
Ain’t it the absolute truth? We never seem to appreciate our parents until it is too late. Or is it ever too late?
Fathers seem never to be appreciated fully. Often, they are associated with being stern, detached and non-emotional. In novels, movies and plays, they hold out to the very last scenes being stubborn and refusing to accept. But then, just before the final fade to black, they break, they accept, they smile and sometimes even cry. The image of the strong, silent, rule keeping, stern father seems requisite in movies, plays, novels, and even in Scripture, from time immemorial.
Or is it that we need the fathers in our lives to be the rule makers, the conscience that we aspire to, or the personification of strength? Whatever and however we have arrived at the image of “Father” that we seem to share across cultures, the fact is that we owe them much. These towers of strength who propel us to move forward to meet the challenges of our lives deserve to be recognized and Father’s Day is just that special occasion to do so.
Father’s Day allows us to honor the men in our lives who have inspired us, helped us to grow and given us what we need to get where we are. How you do so is up to you, but we know that we are all the better when we do.
Of course, the work that has brought me to writing these pages over the past thirteen years cannot be ignored. Many have come forth to tell me their painful stories of being raised by a father and mother who were not present emotionally, physically or psychologically. Listening to many of these stories is painful and leaves an impression on the mind that is indelible. To these individuals I have this to offer: When the culture we live in celebrates anything that causes painful memories or reminds you of your troubling childhood or past, be determined to celebrate nothing but you. Make yourself the center of your attention and celebrate all that is good within you—that has been placed within you by God. Do what you want to do, how you want it, when and where you want it. You need not be a prisoner of anyone else’s needs. Most certainly, do not be chained to the drives of commercialism. Redirect your thoughts to good ones of you, your happiness and your achievements.
I offer this counsel with a prayer that all who read this will be moved to accept the good within themselves and be moved slowly, but surely, to a place of forgiveness. Knowing full well that forgiveness is an internal process and working on the good within helps immensely to move forward, beyond and way above any expectations that others may have of you or that you have for yourself.
To the fathers reading this, I offer warm wishes, prayers and congratulations for all that you have done to meet the tremendous responsibilities that you are gifted with. You do well to raise your children in the best way possible, and they benefit in ways that bless the world through their presence and giftedness. You have encouraged, inspired, motivated, challenged, supported and loved your children with dignity and grace, and you are true heroes not only loved by your children, but tremendously loved by God who is certainly pleased with your generosity. Allow yourselves to be celebrated by those who love you. Accept their praise, say ‘you are welcome’ to the compliments, and don’t be afraid to stand proud on a day when the world especially needs you to be recognized. Remember your own fathers on this day, and strive to be better at what they have done best. Celebrate!
Heavenly Father, we know that You knew and loved us loved us before we were born. Feeling Your love makes us feel special and strong. You have gifted us with many good things and we are blessed. Thank you for the great gift of the fathers in our lives who imitate your love for us. Bless them in a special way on this Father’s Day. Inspire them when they are challenged, uplift them when they are down, and show them the way when they are lost. Give them what they need and show them Your love through us, Your children. Above all, help us to be grateful children ever mindful that we can do nothing without You.
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