September is National Recovery Month: We Celebrate the Stars!

By Paul Ashton, Psy.D., D.Min.
Consultant to the VIRTUS® Programs

I sing the body electric, I celebrate the me yet to come
I toast to my own reunion, when I become one with the sun
And I'll look back on Venus, I'll look back on Mars
And I'll burn with the fire of ten million stars
And in time, and in time we will all be stars.
Dean Pitchford adapted from Walt Whitman


One Friday in the Spring of 2003, the Archdiocesan Director of Safe Environment and I had just successfully finished a week-long run of training for a couple of thousand teachers, principals and school personnel in the Protecting God's Children® (PGC) Program. We had a great session that afternoon and the week ended on a good note. Everyone was interested in the new program brought to their archdiocese, and while there were many questions and much enthusiasm, there were even more who lined up after each session to ask a question or talk about their experiences. On this particular afternoon, I couldn't get to everyone in the line, as I needed to get to the airport and the traffic was heavy. I felt bad leaving behind those who wanted to share, and reluctantly rushed off through the large parking lot. As we approached the car, a woman was running after us. I turned to greet her, and the Director kindly reminded me of the time and my flight. The woman was a little older, out of breath and very anxious. I had her sit on top of my suitcase and told her to catch her breath. She began to cry, and told me the deeply sad story of her sexual abuse when she was a child. The plane could wait.

While it was all so new then to all of us, and the VIRTUS® paradigm was exciting to apply to our ministries (although challenging in many ways), we were all taken aback by the many, many individuals who came forth to tell us of their experiences of sexual abuse as children. All of these stories were painful, but many of them had good endings of triumph and recovery. 

What was paramount, however, was how we realized that listening to the narratives, hearing and giving witness to the stories, and honoring and respecting victims blessed the program in ways untold. Our mission was to promote a model for prevention, but from the beginning we did way more than that. G-d had certainly blessed our work right from the very start. And the good people in our Church responded the way they always do to crisis: with empathy and their sleeves rolled up. From 2002 forward, new ministries and offices were formed, outreach was ramped up, healing services, support groups and therapists from every corner of the profession were pressed into action. In response to the crisis, a whole new approach was embraced by the Church and it has spread universally throughout the world. Empathy for victims, their needs, their experiences and the ways in which they could teach us this new way to be was the motivating factor in our interactions.

Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Counselors, Psychotherapists, and Spiritual Directors had already been walking with victims of child sexual abuse and were well versed in assisting them to move from surviving to thriving. New positions were formedVictim's Advocatesand were employed by arch/dioceses and religious communities all across the country. 

We are in their debt. 

They walked with victims in those early days, and it was not easy. Like the victims they serve so well, their voices are silent. They carry and hold the stories of so many victims, and they work with them to form new narratives. The walked their clients to places of peace and comfort and through storms of depression, anxiety and despair that would overtake even the strongest person. Many were suicidal; many took their own lives because of the darkness that surrounded them every minute of their days and nights. Still many others were helped and they turned their darkness into light. Those gone to God will never, ever be forgotten. The pain they endured is still carried by their families, and our prayers are extended to them in mighty ways. 

This is the month to celebrate recovery. Inand by doing sowe could never forget our history and those whose shoulders we stand upon now, those who have built the monuments, and the peace gardens and support group rooms. Those who have waited patiently with the Kleenex. Those who encouraged us to learn how to listen to victims and their families. Those who did everything they could to bring about peace of mind, soul and heart. 
And so, in thanksgiving to our great and wonderful God who has never abandoned us, we offer praise and glory for those he has sent into the lives of victim/survivors to help them heal. We thank these dedicated members of our community from the bottoms of our hearts. We honor them with highest praise for listening so well, journeying so carefully and empowering so creatively the lives of the victim/survivors who have blessed our Church with gifts beyond our knowing.

Please join in prayer for these wonderful men and women who are superstars in our world, never forgetting those they journey with, and minister to, who shine right alongside them:

Good and gracious God. You loved us into creation and know our every joy and sorrow. We come now to you with joy and thanksgiving asking your blessings on all Victim's Assistance Coordinators, Advocates and Therapists who are the front line soldiers in our war against the crime of child sexual abuse. Please bless them with lighted hearts, as they carry the pain of others so keenly. Bless their minds with peace, their actions with dignity and their lips with the sweetness of your love for all. We ask that you raise these men and women as shining stars in heaven for all to be guided by. Amen.

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