Boundaries in the Modern Age

At first glance, it may seem like our society takes boundaries more seriously than ever before. After all, there are programs like VIRTUS that shine a spotlight on inappropriate behavior; increased rules and procedures for caring for children in schools and other settings; and an better understanding of what constitutes abuse or conduct that "crosses the line."

Yet, at the same time, our culture is lax about a number of boundaries that make relationships with young people more complex. The first one that comes to mind is social media, where young people and adults alike bare their inmost feelings to cyberspace, creating the illusion of privacy where there isn't any. Another issue to be aware of is that much of our society upholds relativism—that is, believing that there isn't an objective truth. This principle comes into play when people argue that "You might think this is wrong, but it isn't wrong for me (or, 'them')." It can be difficult to uphold boundaries when people cannot agree on common rights and wrongs.

Third, society does not always respect parental authority—leaving kids without a safe haven they can turn to for guidance. Parental authority is often undermined in movies and television where it's the kid who "knows best" and saves the day. While it's necessary for children to feel confident and competent, this tendency in our culture undermines the trust children have with their parents, which leaves them vulnerable to relationships that parents are not aware of or have little influence over.

It is helpful to be aware of these societal trends so that we can guide the children in our care. The goal is to help them form appropriate relationships with peers and adults alike. It's also helpful guidance for us as we enter into mentoring relationships with young people and avoid grey areas such as intense interactions on social media, engaging with a young person without their parents' knowledge, or working or volunteering with kids when expectations are unclear about acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
 

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